The Cynic Diaries
by KristineMcCarty
Summary: I just wanted out of this decaying town, and really? I didn't think that was too much to ask." RATED M FOR GENERAL SHENANIGANS, INCLUDING FUTURE LEMONS. AU/AH/OOC. CANON COUPLES. EVENTUALLY.
1. PROLOGUE

**PROLOGUE. **

I just wanted out of this shithole town, and really? I didn't think that was too much to ask.

This town is like a black hole. People go in, they never come out. At least not with their sanity intact, that is. Everyone just sits here and festers for awhile, before eventually they all just shrivel up and die. It's a slow, painful process, much like cancer.

Actually, cancer is pretty much the perfect analogy for Forks. It's the cancerous tumor on the great state of Washington.

Which, of course, would imply that I actually consider Washington to be 'great' in my book. The polygraph machine states? That's a lie.

Maybe I should rephrase. Washington, in general, is a cancerous tumor on the great country of the United States. Forks is merely the malignant starting point.

And me? Well, I'm cursed to spend my days slowly dying a painful death right along with the rest of this small shithole town's population, watching new people filter in every now and then only to be sucked into the nothingness the greater Forks community has to offer.

When I was younger (read: dumber), I had big dreams of some knight in shining armor riding gallantly into this town on his faithful steed (read: motorcycle or something equally badass) and whisking me away into the night. We'd go somewhere like New York, maybe California, and live out the remainder of our days in this kind of fucked up, Bohemian-esque wonderland dream.

See what reading fairy tales as a young child will do to you? Warp your brain. Take note for when you have kids of your own. Don't read that shit to them. It has a way of encouraging unrealistic expectations. The important thing I've learned about expectations, unrealistic or otherwise? They always leave you disappointed in the end.

I'd bet my last effing dollar, half the people currently in insane asylums across the country are there because of one man.

Walt fucking Disney.

I'm older now, however, and infinitely smarter. I know there's no knight, the store's fresh out of shining armor, and he's not coming on a faithful steed or even in a piece of shit Toyota for that matter.

Chivalry is dead.

And I'm jaded and cynical because of it enough for six people.


	2. Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER: **Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own, well, a Blackberry that is my most prized possession. Other than my kid, of course.

**Amateur youth sling down those signs  
Gather the masses, friends of mine  
I've got your back if you've got my hand  
This isn't over it just began**

**-_Audrey, Start the Revolution_ - Anberlin.**

**AN: **So we're trying something new here, folks. First person POV, something I've never attempted in FF. Be easy on the old girl. This story will have no bearing on THitD's updating schedule. I'll be posting updates to each once a week until THitD is finished.  
**IF YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO LEGALLY BUY CIGARETTES, A LOTTERY TICKET, ENLIST OR YOUR PARENTS WOULD HAVE KITTENS TO FIND THIS STORY IN YOUR BROWSER HISTORY, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T PROCEED. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS OF CAR KEYS, TV/PHONE/INTERNET PRIVILEGES, OR FRIDAY NIGHT PLANS IF YOU CHOOSE TO NOT HEED MY WARNING AND GET CAUGHT AND IN TROUBLE.**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE  
**BPOV.**

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Are you really still in bed?"

I cracked open bleary eyes and shifted just enough to make out a fuzzy, disgruntled looking shape standing in my bedroom doorway. Groaning loudly, I pulled the pillow over my head.

"Seriously, Swan. You realize what time it is?"

"Time for you to get the fuck out of my room, for starters," I growled. Though, considering I was currently still under the pillow, face-down in the mattress, I had to question my intimidation factor.

"Er WRONG! It's time to get your pasty ass out of bed so we can get to the hellhole in time."

With that, my darkened sanctuary was compromised by evil outside forces, exposing what little of my face was showing to the morning's… well, not exactly sunlight. Bright gray, I suppose.

"Fuck off, Hale."

Enter Jasper Hale, Forks High's most eligible bachelor. My smartass, fuck face, quasi-brother of a best friend, who was currently holding my blessed pillow hostage like the bastard he truly is.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" he asked me, laughing loudly.

Yes, I question my choice in friends too, in case you were wondering.

I flipped him off in response, not bothering to roll off my stomach or look at him.

"Tsk tsk, Bella. Not so early in the morning."

"You're disgusting," I told him, my voice muffled.

"And yet, I can't seem to get rid of you," he replied, still chortling.

I turned my head to glare at him, rolling my eyes in the process.

"Right, and who's standing in whose room right now at this ungodly hour?"

"Anything to see the lovely, sweet-natured Bella Swan in all her ethereal glory by the dawn's early light," he drawled sweetly.

How this mother fucker kept a straight face, I'll never know.

"You missed your calling as an actor," I informed him before burying my face back in the mattress.

"Add it to my never-ending list of irresistible qualities," he boasted smugly. "Now get up and get ready. I don't feel like being late today, you delinquent."

"When do you ever care about being late?" I scoffed, partially inhaling my fitted sheet in the process.

"I always care. You're just a bad influence on me," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Right, I'll remember that next time you want to ditch," I retorted. I reached back to fumble for the sheet to pull over myself, swearing under my breath when my shoulder popped uncomfortably.

"No, you don't!" Jasper scolded, after he realized what I was trying to do. It took him a minute, but that's pretty typical. Jasper isn't the brightest crayon in the box sometimes. He flicked the blanket back down around my waist unmercifully. I hissed sharply and cursed as the cold air came in contact with my bare back.

"Why, Miss Swan! Are we sleeping in the nude?" he asked, snickering like a pre-pubescent schoolgirl. "So, who was the lucky guy?"

"Piss off," I replied testily, twisting around to attempt to snatch the sheet he still had in his grasp, careful not to expose anything too risque. No use giving the bastard something to jerk off to later. "I read in Cosmo sleeping naked helps you feel sexier or some shit."

"You read Cosmo?" Jasper asked me, his jaw dropping. The hand holding my sheet captive fell limp with his shock, allowing me to tug the blanket away victorious.

I pulled the sheet up under my armpits and shrugged as I rolled onto my back. "It was on your coffee table."

"Ah, attempting to connect with Rosalie on a deeper level, I see," he nodded understandingly.

"Right, that's it exactly. Look, it was either that or Douchebags R' Us. I was pleasantly surprised to see you'd taken out a subscription, by the way. Finally coming to terms with your handicap I take it?"

"Admitting it is the first step," he grinned widely. Insulting the boy is damn near impossible and extremely infuriating. He's a champ at brushing put downs off. "Now get up. Unless you got some other ride to school I don't know about, of course."

"I can get a ride, dick. You're not my only option," I informed him, sitting up slowly, careful to keep the sheet clutched around my body. Honestly, Jasper maybe my best friend, but I don't think we'll ever be close to the point where I find it acceptable for him to ogle my tits. And let's face it, he's a guy. If there's tits to be seen, no matter whose they are, he's ogling.

"Uh-huh, sure. I must have missed that throng of admirers outside fighting for the privilege to take your ungrateful ass." Honestly, Jasper better be glad I wasn't in the mood to put on a Free Live Nudes show this early, or else I would be jumping out of bed, knocking that shit eating grin off his face.

"I don't know how you missed them, Hale," I told him, winking saucily. "They were right next to that queue of girls all vying for a chance to get in your pants."

"Touche." He grinned impossibly wider. "However, unlike your fictional fan club, mine actually exists."

I narrowed my eyes at him, a sassy retort dancing on my tongue. Before I could respond, however, I started choking loudly, one hand flying up to grab my throat, the other holding the sheet in place covering my chest. Jasper's blue eyes widened in panic.

"What is it, Bella?" he asked urgently, rushing forward the few steps to grasp my shoulder roughly. "Are you okay?"

I continued to sputter and gasp for a moment before I drew in a ragged breath. "Your ego is suffocating me," I told him, dropping the theatrics seamlessly and fixing him with a mock glare.

Jasper tossed the pillow at my face. "You're a bitch."

"Likewise," I smirked. "Now, stop bugging me and get out of here so I can get dressed."

"Why the modesty, Swan?" He winked suggestively. "It's not like I haven't seen it all before."

"We were five, you dick!" I groaned, feeling a blush creep up to my cheeks at the reminder of the memory. It's perfectly normal for little kids to play doctor. Perfectly. However, smart little kids don't stay friends with the person they played doctor with. Or, at the very least, nice little kids repress the memory and don't insist on bringing it up in every day conversation.

Jasper just beamed, shrugging nonchalantly. "News around the locker room states you haven't changed much since then."

My pillow narrowly missed his head as he turned and sauntered towards the door.

Either my aim's getting bad or that bastard is getting faster.

"I'll be waiting downstairs," he told me over his shoulder, walking out of my room and shutting the door behind him with a click.

"Whatever, ass," I replied, knowing he couldn't hear me now anyway. I flopped backwards on to the bed, throwing an arm over my eyes. After a minute of laying there like that, I chanced a peek at my alarm clock next to me on the nightstand. Squinting, I attempted to make out the red illuminated numbers. Despite the invigorating wake up call I just received, I still felt half asleep, my mind slow moving and muddled. I don't think I'll ever be a morning person.

"Well, shit," I announced after a second, moaning when the number sequence finally clicked in my haze filled brain.

I grimaced at the alarm, a silent request to stop messing around and roll back its numbers so I could go back to sleep. Stubbornly, it continued to glare 7:32 at me. School started in exactly forty-three minutes. Nothing like waiting until the last possible minute.

Dragging myself out of bed with the sheet tucked around me, just in case Jasper decided to pop his head back in the room to inform me of something asinine like the weather (yes, I'm speaking from experience), I stumbled towards the closet. Grabbing the first pair of jeans and hoodie I saw, I whirled around, almost tripping in the process as the sheet got wrapped around my legs. Stumbling a few steps, I recovered and glanced around the room quickly until I spotted a bra draped over my desk chair.

"Aha!" I proclaimed, lunging forward to snatch it up. Dropping the sheet and sweatshirt, I yanked the jeans on unceremoniously before slipping on my bra.

"Hey, I think it's supposed to rain today," Jasper announced loudly, flinging my door open so hard it bounced against the wall. In addition to getting faster, the fucker was also getting quieter. I hadn't even heard him come back up the stairs. Either that or he'd been standing outside my door this whole time.

I wouldn't put that past him.

"Has the art of knocking been completely lost on you?" I snapped, turning to glare evilly at him.

"Come off it, I've seen more of my mother's skin than that," he guffawed, rolling his eyes.

"That just goes to show what kind of sick shit you really are," I replied, reaching down to grab my hoodie and shrugging it on. "I wouldn't go talking about that to too many people, you know."

"There's something wrong with you," he informed me seriously as I pushed past him on the way to the bathroom.

"And yet, you're the one bragging about how much of your mom's skin you see," I quipped smartly. Without even turning back to look at him, I knew he was shaking his head in defeat.

Bella: 100 x Infinity.  
Jasper: 0.

"I'm going back down," he sighed. I heard his footsteps heading towards the stairs.

"You do that," I replied from the bathroom I shared with Charlie, already scrutinizing my reflection in the mirror. "I'll be there in a minute."

I knew if Rosalie was up here right now, she'd be insisting I put on some make-up and try to make myself look 'presentable' despite how late I was running. Luckily for me, Rosalie wasn't up here, and honestly, I know I look good without it. That probably sounds pretty egotistical, but it's just the facts. It was a waste of time, getting dolled up for another mundane day at good old Forks High. I've known the dip shits there since kindergarten. They knew what I looked like both slumming and fixed up. One day of seeing Bella Swan au natural wasn't going to kill them.

After brushing my teeth quickly, I raked a comb through my hair before tossing it back on the sink, and strode back into my bedroom long enough to jerk my backpack off the floor. I paused before walking out the door, feeling like I was forgetting something crucial. Racking my brains for a second or two, I shrugged, figuring it wasn't important and turned to trudge down the hall towards the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Jasper was leaning against the counter eating a granola bar when I entered the kitchen.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" I asked him, eying the food in his hand hungrily.

"Your cabinet," he replied, in between bites.

"Are there anymore left?" I asked as I headed for the cupboards, yanking them open one by one and scanning the contents.

"Nah, last one," he responded, his mouth full.

I pursed my lips, considering my options, before turning and swiftly grabbing the half that was left out of his hand.

"No, that's fine. I wasn't eating that or anything," he grumbled, wiping his hands on his jeans. "By all means, take it."

"Thanks." I smiled at him before popping a bite in my mouth. "Your bitch twin waiting outside?" I asked as I chewed, leaning back against the counter next to him.

"Nope," he said, popping the 'p' in the way I hated. "She went to school early. Meeting Royce." He pulled a face at the name.

"Ugh," I agreed, watching him walk to the fridge and pull the door open, extracting the jug of orange juice. My nose wrinkled in disgust as he unscrewed the cap and took a swig straight from the container. Honestly, the boy could have been raised in a barn. I don't even bother yelling at him anymore for the shit. It just falls on deaf ears.

He wiped his mouth on the back of his arm when he was through and replaced the juice, shutting the fridge door.

"You even have time to brush your teeth?" he asked suddenly, turning back to look at me. "You weren't up there very long."

"Did you even brush your hair this morning?" I countered.

"Hey, back off. I got a thing going," he replied. He ran his hands through his unruly locks and gave me a self-assured wink.

"I can tell," I snorted.

"Just shut it and let's go, Fashionista," he said, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket and jingling them in front of my face before striding out of the kitchen. "All the good parking spots are probably gone by now and I got the Honda today," he called back over his shoulder when I hadn't moved.

"Joy unbounded," I muttered under my breath and pushed myself away from the counter to follow him into the living room to the front door.

"Watch it," he growled. He held the door open for me when I got there, taking my backpack off my shoulder in the process. "We can't all be blessed to have the fine piece of machinery that your beloved truck is. When you getting that piece of shit back anyway?"

I walked halfway down the sidewalk before whirling around to ensure he shut and locked the door behind him. "That truck is a classic," I informed him hotly. "And Jake said it should be done anytime."

Jasper nodded as he strode towards me in a lazy gait, his hands shoved down in his pockets. "How much he charge?" he asked when he got to me.

I hesitated in my response as we traipsed towards his black Civic together.

"Bella," he warned, reaching the car first and pulling my door open for me.

"What?" I feigned ignorance and climbed in the passenger seat. He huffed loudly and I shut the door in his face.

Rolling his eyes, he circled the front end to his side, eying me through the windshield the whole time. He opened the driver's door, flinging my backpack in the backseat next to his.

"You didn't," he accused, sliding in behind the wheel.

"Didn't what?" I asked him, my poker face firmly in place as he started the engine.

"You did _not_ sleep with Jacob Black to get your car fixed," he groaned, pulling away from the curb.

"Ugh, what are you listening to?" I asked, ignoring his statement pointedly, reaching for the stereo.

He smacked my hand away roughly. "You know the rules," he told me. "No touching."

Jasper is way too anal retentive about this car. It border lined on unhealthy, in fact. Let a guy watch Fast and Furious _one_ time and suddenly every foreign made car was God to them.

"You're deflecting," he prodded when I didn't respond right away.

"It was a perk," I admitted vaguely.

"Isabella Swan!" he roared in disgust, thumping the steering wheel with one hand. "I can't believe you!"

"He offered afterwords!" I defended.

"I'm going to be sick," he proclaimed seriously. "You're un-fucking-believable."

"Oh, like you haven't done something like that," I argued, feeling a blush creep up my neck. Not that I normally cared if Jasper knew who I was doing, but talking details this early in the morning, and defending them for that matter, made my face flush with embarrassment.

"Not to get my car fixed! You know what they call people who have sex in exchange for goods don't you?" he demanded.

"Don't go there, Jasper Hale," I hissed, temporary embarrassment forgotten. "It was a one time thing and he offered when we were done."

"Oh, a one time thing," he repeated, throwing his hands up dramatically. "Even better. Bella Swan just admitted to having a one night stand!"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "We're done having this conversation," I informed him.

"Damn straight. I'm afraid I'll find out you screwed the mailman to get free postage or some other sick shit," he mumbled.

"Don't make me put my foot on the dash, Jasper. Don't make me do it," I warned, my voice taking on a threatening edge as I raised my foot in preparation to muddy up his perfectly greased dashboard.

"Truce," he sighed grudgingly after a minute. I knew I would get him there. You can threaten his life, you can threaten his family, but if you threaten his car? He'll give in every time.

We rode in silence for a few minutes before he asked, "You hear about the new kids?"

"How could I not?" I replied, appreciating the offering of the verbal peace pipe. "Good doctor moving with his family from Alaska to save our run down hospital from another lawsuit? God, it's the town's biggest gossip since my mom ran out on my dad."

He snorted. "First off, they're moving from Chicago, Gossip Girl. Secondly, the Police Chief's wife taking off on him to hook up with the minor league baseball player will always be the town's biggest gossip. You guys got that one in the bag until.. well, death."

"Don't remind me," I told him, rolling my eyes. Everyone in town was all too fond of that particular story, from elementary aged kids to the little old ladies at the Rotary Club meetings. "When they getting here?"

"Finished moving in yesterday," he replied, maneuvering his car into the school's parking lot and into a space near the doors. "Down the street from my house. And, if I'm not mistaken, that'd be them now."

We watched as a sleek, silver car pulled in a few spaces down from us. From our position, it was easy to discern the shapes of the three people seated inside.

"They're our age, I think. Probably our grade," Jasper told me quietly.

"Why are you whispering, douche? Afraid they'll hear you?" I giggled, gazing at the group in question. "What kind of car is that?"

"Volvo," he answered, his voice returning to normal sheepishly. "You know daddy's a doctor, driving a car like that."

"Expensive, I take it?" I asked, watching as a tiny girl clambered out of the backseat, mouth moving rapidly as she spoke to the people still sitting in the car's front seats. I appreciate cars for their outward appearances. That's as far as my vehicular knowledge ran. Even after hanging out with Jasper for all these years, Mr. Car Enthusiast himself, I've never quite learned to speak _Car & Driver_.

"Very," Jasper replied, eying the new girl appreciatively.

"Easy there, Casanova," I cautioned sarcastically. "Give her time to get away from the car before you move in on her like the horn dog you are."

He swung around to grin at me. "I'm just thinking she might need a friend. You know, a handsome guide to take her under his wing and show her the ropes."

"Right," I scoffed, dragging out the word. "So should I get the word out to Royce and his cronies that the position is open?"

He glared at me. "I think I can handle this, thanks."

He turned around hurriedly and snatched our backpacks out of the backseat before turning the car off.

"Here," he said, thrusting mine at me in a rush. "Let's go introduce ourselves."

"Pathetic," I muttered, as he climbed out of the car and straightened his shirt, his eyes roaming the new girl's Tinkerbell-esque body shamelessly.

"Come on," he hissed, without turning around to look at me.

"You're one desperate bastard," I informed him, opening my door and getting out carefully. I wasn't in the mood to eat pavement this morning and it wouldn't have been the first time it happened.

I walked around the car to stand next to him. "Stop gawking," I admonished. "You look like an ass."

I was eating my words two seconds later as my breath caught in my throat harshly. The driver extracted himself from the car, his eyes narrowing in a weary sort of way as he straightened up, still listening to Tinkerbell yammering away animatedly.

"You failed to mention there was a Greek fucking God in the family, Jazz," I whispered.

Jasper peeked at me from the corner his eyes, a grin tugging at his lips.

"Now who looks like the ass?" he snickered before breaking out in uproarious laughter.

I swore under my breath as Mr. Greek God and Tinkerbell gazed in our direction, suspicion etched across their faces.

"Will you shut up?" I hissed sharply at Jasper, jabbing an elbow into his ribcage and smirking slightly when it hit its mark, a sharp intake of breath from him a reward for my efforts.

Mr. Debonair Hale finally managed to knock off the idiotic laughter as soon as he noticed Fairy Princess was eying him warily.

I rolled my eyes at him, feeling a contradictory flush crawl up my neck as Greek God's green eyes honed in on my face. They narrowed and hardened in a way that sent a chill up my spine pathetically. Motion from the passenger side drew my attention away from Double G's intense and burning gaze, and I watched as the third member of their party climbed out, coming to stand next to the car, his hulking frame dwarfing his companions easily. All three of them stared at us, a mixture of apprehension and distrust fighting for dominance on their features.

"Great," I muttered to Jasper. "Your douchebaggery truly knows no limits. You know they probably think you were laughing at them, don't you?"

I peeked up through my lashes to glance at Jasper's face. He was smiling like a fool at Miss Size-10-in-Kid's-Jeans. I glanced back to gauge the newcomers' reactions.

"Definitely think you were laughing at them," I informed him scathingly as they frowned simultaneously at us.

Jasper's smile faltered for a moment with the realization, before he plastered it back on effortlessly. Remember that old 90's group, Chumbawamba? I'm almost a hundred perfect sure their one-hit song "Tub Thumping" was written about Jasper.

"Ah, well," he sighed, slinging an arm across my shoulders and turning to lead me across the parking lot towards the school. "Plenty of other fish in the sea, I guess."

"Too bad you've screwed them all," I scoffed as we reached the doors. He pulled them open with his free hand and sauntered into the hall much like the cocky bastard he is, tugging me along at his side.

"Minor details, Bells," he drawled confidently, raising the arm draped across my shoulder in greeting to one of his baseball buddies before dropping it back in place. "They all come crawling back eventually."

"You drag them back," I corrected, as we passed Jessica Stanley standing at her locker. She glared at me as we strode past her and I resisted the urge to flip her the bird. She was one of those 'fish' we had just been referring to. Only, she actually did crawl back. Repeatedly. It pissed her off to no end every time she saw Jazz and I together. As if on bitch cue, Lauren Mallory rushed up to her and almost immediately they bent their heads together, speaking in exaggerated hushed tones. I glanced back once to see them shooting acerbic looks in my direction.

"How's Swan in bed, Jasper?" Lauren yelled out just as I turned my back on them. My body tensed instinctively, coiling in anger. Mallory was one person who managed to crawl under my skin every time she opened her stupid mouth.

Jasper's arm tightened around my shoulders, his hand digging painfully into my arm, even through the bulk of my sweatshirt.

"Obviously better than you, Mallory," he purred back, not giving her the satisfaction of turning around to look at her. "I'm still seen with her, aren't I?"

Laughter rang out around us at his response and I followed Jasper's lead faithfully, keeping my face forward. I knew without having to swing around and confirm it that Lauren was enraged by being a made fool of in front of an audience.

I know, the irony kills me too.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the first time Jasper and I were accused of sleeping together, nor would it be the last. It happened frequently. In little towns such as ours, there was very little options when it came to recreational activities. Alcohol consumption was choice number one. Promiscuous sex ran a close second. Jasper and I tended to take part in both, just never the latter with each other.

Despite the bantering that sometimes border lined on downright unpleasant bickering, Jazz and I had a good thing going. We saw no reason to ruin it with mindless sex.

However, getting that through to the thick-headed residents of Forks was a different matter entirely. We gave up a long time ago. These days we usually shrugged off the allegations like pros, even feeding into the rumors ourselves when we were particularly bored. It was hilarious to watch their mouths gape with shock when we announced shit like how we spent the night at the others house, in the same bed no less.

We saw absolutely no reason to mention those times usually occurred when we were acting as a cock block for the other.

Or when I was scared to be home alone when Charlie worked midnights.

_'Moot point,'_ Jasper would say later when it was just the two of us. _'The fact remains, when it happens, we actually stay the whole night together. That's a pretty big deal for a pair of non-committal sluts such as ourselves.'_

_'Speak for yourself,'_ I always chide.

_'I am,'_ he replies every time. _'I'm just choosing to include you in on the facts.'_

Sad thing is, he's right. Not about the slut thing, at least not in my case, but about the whole non-committal part.

Jasper and I? We're not exactly the commitment types. At least not with anyone but each other.

We're a couple of fucked up souls.

Jazz denies it vehemently, but he's just as jaded as I am.

Our relationship is safe though. I think that's the main reason why we stick together so tightly. There's no demands, no expectations, no anything. We're just us. Jasper and Bella. We're loyal to ourselves first, each other second, there's nothing in between that and we both have a clear understanding about the dynamics of our fucked up little pairing. We depend on each other as much as our cynical natures will allow and we don't let outside influences compromise that.

Most importantly, there's no funny business between us. Everything is kept strictly platonic, no matter how others may perceive a passing gesture.

It's a very Us Against Them kind thing. Jazz and Bella versus the Rest of the World. And that's the way we intend to keep it.

"Anyway, what were you saying?" Jasper asked as he wound us through the crowd in a lazy stroll.

"I don't even remember," I told him honestly. Despite the exchange with Lauren and Jessica, something that usually weighed heavily on my mind and filled me with rage long past the last words were uttered, all I could think of was the parking lot and Double G's burning green gaze.

"I think we were discussing my Romeo tendencies," he reminded me, raising his arm off my shoulder to high-five a passing acquaintance.

"Oh yeah," I nodded, relieved for the distraction as he replaced the limb back around me. "How you have to drag all the wenches back to you, kicking and screaming, in order to get laid."

"Moot point," he replied. "One way or another, I get off in the end."

"Charming," I snorted. "You're just a regular lady killer."

"Don't you forget it either, Darlin'" he agreed as we arrived at my first period. The door was still shut, indicating the teacher, the raging moron that she was, hadn't gotten there yet.

"Looks like we weren't the only ones running late today," I told Jasper, jerking my head towards the darkened classroom.

Jasper didn't appear to be listening anymore as his eyes scanned the crowd of people walking past us or joining the group gathered around the door.

"Jazz?" I implored, nudging him with my hip. I hate to be ignored and he knows that shit.

He didn't respond as his arm tightened around me in a way that made me cringe. His face hardened suddenly as the object of his search came into his line of sight.

"Ten feet, James," he ground out fiercely, his arm dropping around my waist to tug me closer. "I wasn't fucking kidding then and I'm not fucking kidding now."

I stiffened as James Nomade's face got within seeing range.

"What's the matter, Hale?" James taunted, coming to a stop a safe distance away from us across the hall. "Afraid to have me near your girlfriend?"

Jasper's grip on my hip was bruising through my jeans as it seemed as if the entire hall stopped what they were doing and turned in the direction of the commotion. I clenched my eyes shut against the stares.

I'll stick to that later, you know. It was against the stares of the peanut gallery and not in attempts to block out James' sneering face.

"You're damned lucky I don't come over there and break your fucking nose. Again." Jasper growled out, his body shaking against me with the force of his undiluted fury.

James' responding laugh bounced off the walls around us. The sound of it seemed to push Jasper nearer to the invisible edge James' presence had him perched on. He jerked me impossibly closer and I had to fight back the yelp that threatened to escape as his hand dug even further into my hip, to the point where it felt as though he was gripping bone.

"Big words coming from the guy clutching his girlfriend like he's scared she'll get away," James jeered. "Scared of a little _competition_?" he enunciated the word annoyingly by syllables.

I could feel Jasper's muscles constrict as if James' words had acted as a fist, verbally socking him in the gut. My eyes still closed, I reached my hand up to grip the back of his shirt.

_Stay where you are_, I silently pleaded with him. _Don't let him goad you into doing something stupid._

I could feel Jazz's eyes on my face fleetingly and I knew he comprehended my gesture. Jazz has this uncanny way of reading me like a book, whether I opened my mouth or not. I couldn't let him get suspended for me. I just couldn't. He'd done it before and I was wracked with guilt the entire three days he was gone.

"Beat it, James," he said threateningly and I knew at that moment he wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to give in to James' taunts, as badly as he wanted to. "I'm not fucking kidding."

I'd like to believe that no one could be dumb enough to believe Jasper was messing around in that moment, though if anyone could obtain the level of idiocy required to misjudge it, James would be a prime candidate. However, I'm sure he was smart enough to recognize there was a good dozen or so people between us and him, so Jazz's threats had a minimal effect on him.

Then again, only someone as brain dead as James would think about pushing Jazz to this point in the first place. Jasper's unearthly calm in all situations was somewhat notorious around here. If he finally lost his cool? The offending person was likely to lose a body part.

And everyone, including James, knew that.

James thrived off this kinda shit, though. He loved to find people's buttons and once he located them, he pressed until he found a reaction that he liked.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, he'd found Jasper's.

"Again, big words coming from someone who's on the other side of the hall, holding on to his girlfriend like she's going to come running to me as soon as he lets her go," James paused for a moment before crooning softly, "ready for a repeat, Bella Baby?"

I shuddered before I could stop myself and I heard everyone witnessing this twisted event draw a collective breath. Fearing that last comment was the final shove to Jasper's breaking point, I gripped the back of his shirt harder and dug my heels into the ground, fully prepared to hold him back when he decided to charge.

"Is there a problem here?" a soft voice asked quietly. The snort that would have usually come from me upon hearing the clichéd question was lost along the way as my ears greedily drank in the velvety tone in which it was asked. It managed to sound both captivating and intimidating all at once and I found myself shuddering once again, this time for a much different reason.

Jasper remained tense beside me, even as James replied, "No problem at all. You must be one of the Cullens. I'm James."

I opened my eyes in time to see James thrusting his hand out, a smug smile across his slimy face.

Mr. Greek God eyed the proffered appendage with scorn dancing in his eyes. "Shouldn't you be getting to class?" he ventured, arching an eyebrow.

James withdrew his hand slowly, a scowl replacing the smile. "I was actually on my way. Just stopping to say a quick hi to my good friends Swan and Hale, here." He smirked in our direction.

I glanced up at Jasper's face to see his reaction to those words, almost cowering at his expression. It was a rare day that Jazz actually managed to intimidate me, and right now? He looked positively murderous and I wasn't immune to it.

"I can see that," Double G chuckled darkly without humor. "I'd wager to say the greetings have been exchanged. Perhaps it's time for you to move along now."

James sized up the new kid speculatively as New Guy gazed back at him unflinchingly. Apparently, James decided the risk of the unknown wasn't worth it, after a long moment wrought with edge. Grabbing the wrist of a passing red headed whore, he slung his arm over her shoulder, mirroring Jazz's position in a smartass, mocking sort of way. He turned fluidly, tugging the slut along side him, stopping once to grin back at us, until it broke out a wide beam as he noticed we were watching his departure through wary eyes.

"I'll catch you two later," he called back, the implicating promise hanging thickly in the air as he moved through the throng of bystanders, their bodies eventually swallowing him whole.

Only when he disappeared completely did the hall spring back to life. Bustling to make up for lost time, everyone hurried away to their classes just as the warning bell rang out shrilly. We'd be the talk of the day, I was sure.

"You're going to be late," I told Jazz quietly as I watched the teacher approach from the direction James had left in, Rosalie close on her heels. I grimaced at Rose as she dodged around the teacher hurriedly to join Jazz and I at the door.

"What'd I miss?" she asked, panting slightly, after taking one look at our grave expressions. I shook my head lightly at her and turned back to Jasper.

"Did you hear me?" I asked, jerking his shirt where I still held it in my hand.

He nodded absently, his eyes on the stationary lone figure across the hall, who was still gazing down the hall as if he expected the trouble to return.

New Dude turned sharply in our direction suddenly, his face unreadable.

Jasper jerked his head at him. Universal Guy Code for -- actually, I don't know what it's Universal Guy Code for. I think it amounts to the same thing as when dogs sniff each others asses. The newcomer nodded in response, apparently returning the ass sniff.

"Right," Jasper said, his cool demeanor back in place once again. He shifted his head to watch the teacher locate the right key from her key ring finally and fumbled to unlock the classroom door. "I'm off."

He waited long enough to make sure she was able to wrench the door open, flipping the lights on as she walked in. Dropping his head down, he pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead. "I'll see you guys later. Third period, Bella," he reminded me.

Rose and I watched silently as he strode across the hall to Double G, the two of them doing some weird manly hand clasp thing when he reached him. Double G glanced up and met my gaze once before the two of them walked off together in the direction of where I knew Jazz's first period classroom to be.

I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, cutting my eyes to look at Rosalie. She caught my eye and frowned.

"What the fuck just happened?!" she asked again, completely annoyed.

* * *

A/N: Up Next, Edward.

Reviews are the jaded sprinkles on the cynical cake. Make it happen, Cap'n.


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